Greetings!
First of all, thank you for taking the time to read my blog posts.
I am new to all of this.
For awhile now I have had this desire to start one, but let the busyness of life get in the way.
I have journaled for awhile, and still do...although I have also neglected that some too.
I know that it is good for the soul to let out some of the things twirling around in my head-- leaving me feeling overwhelmed and anxious.
So, I anticipate that some of my posts may not interest some of you, and that is ok.
I also expect that I will improve more and more at blogging along the way too! :)
My prayer is that some of them may inspire and encourage some of you.
I have been incredibly blessed by so many mentors, Pastors, seminars and my own personal devotional readings- and I trust that God uses His people to bless others.
So, I took a step of faith and moved away.
Here I am living in Nashville, TN.
I moved here for a job opportunity with a local non-profit here, Visiting Orphans.
I had a desire for Africa, since my visit there in 2008, and for missions and serving others.
I also had a huge heart for the orphans.
There were times in my life, where even though I had a mother and father, I sometimes felt like an orphan.
Not because my father and mother left me or didn't love me, but because I didn't have a relationship with my Heavenly Father.
I realized we are all spiritual orphans, until we accept God's love for us and invite Him into our hearts and lives.
When I was a child, we did not regularly attend Church.
I was learning the worldly ways of living life through the people and environment around me.
Sure, I was baptized into the Catholic faith as a baby.
But, I did not make the choice, my parents made that for me.
For the most part, my life seemed fine.
Yet, we moved so many times I realized I never had the chance to form good friendships..for once I made friends, we would leave and I would have to start all over.
I was always the outsider.
This left me feeling insecure.
I didn't say too much for fear that I would be made fun of.
Many times people wouldn't listen to me- or maybe I was too quiet they didn't hear me.
I was beginning to hurt inside to see how others had such great friendships.
I longed for genuine friendships.
My parents divorced at a young age.
It hurt to see other parents who were happily married. Those friends seemed more stable and secure.
I felt this feeling of rejection by my parents and then even sometimes my friends.
I went through life experiencing hardships, heartache, loneliness, sin, insecurity and believed that was just how my life was always going to be, because of my hurtful past.
It was hard for me to understand who God, even who Jesus was...and what did they have to do with my life? They weren't 'real' in my eyes.
Although my father was around and still cared about us...we did not see him all the time.
I felt fatherless sometimes.
I began to look at my friends father's and wished I had one that was involved in my life as theirs.
Then I looked to boys, then men, for that attention.
I entered into relationships with the greatest of intentions, but did not realize how the hurt of my past would affect me in those relationships.
I was like most girls- I wanted to get married, have children and live in a cute little town and be surrounded with wonderful friends and family..
Some of them were great relationships, some for a long time.
I do not have any regrets. In fact, I learned a great deal from everyone of them.
But, I was hurt. I was used. I was cheated on. I was lied to. I was not loved for the real person I was inside. I was only loved for the person I was on the outside.
After each one, my heart was broken and needed healing..but I did not allow enough time for those wounds to heal.
To cover up that hurt, I eventually jumped into another relationship.
Fast-forward to a time in my life where my life came crashing down.
I thought I was living the dream.
Lived with a guy I loved. Had a beautiful home together. Had many friends. Had a pretty good job.
And it all ended. I was alone. I did not know how to function. I fell into a deep depression.
Eventually, I was introduced to God, to Jesus.
I accepted Him into my heart and realized I needed Him in my life more than anything and anyone else.
God sacrified His son for me, a sinner who did not deserve His love.
But his Grace and Mercy proved that I was His child and He loved me. Me!
Although I am definitely not perfect, I am changed.
Jesus has changed my heart...for myself, for others, and for Him.
There is no doubt that it has been a hard journey, even as I became a believer.
But, at least now I am filled with HOPE...understanding that everything has a purpose.
Somedays I feel so weak. So burdened.
But, then I am reminded that my strength does not come from me alone, it comes from the Lord.
For those of us who have been hurt by so many things in the past, it is hard to trust, for fear of being hurt again.
I have asked God to help me trust Him and trust others.
A mentor advised me that in ALL relationships, trust is built over time as you observe others in different situations...and their actions.
I struggled with my relationship with God because I did not know if I could trust Him...because I did not know Him.
So, how do you get to know someone? You spend time with them, talk with them.
It is truly only through talking to Him through prayer, spending time & mediating with Him, reading His word in the Bible, going to Church and listending to sermons & letting them sink into my heart, mind & actions and truly seeking Him, have I begun to build a relationship with Him and put my trust into Him.
I have found that my mind can begin to fill up with negative thoughts, worries & fear unless I choose to fill with truth. His truth.
The comforting words from God himself and my daily devotionals inspire & encourage me, giving me hope, a joy & a peace that surpasses all of my understanding.
The love God has for me, for us, is a beautiful thing.
Thank you Father for loving us the way you do.
We love You. We need You. We seek You.
Your beloved daughter,
Brenda
First of all, thank you for taking the time to read my blog posts.
I am new to all of this.
For awhile now I have had this desire to start one, but let the busyness of life get in the way.
I have journaled for awhile, and still do...although I have also neglected that some too.
I know that it is good for the soul to let out some of the things twirling around in my head-- leaving me feeling overwhelmed and anxious.
So, I anticipate that some of my posts may not interest some of you, and that is ok.
I also expect that I will improve more and more at blogging along the way too! :)
My prayer is that some of them may inspire and encourage some of you.
I have been incredibly blessed by so many mentors, Pastors, seminars and my own personal devotional readings- and I trust that God uses His people to bless others.
So, I took a step of faith and moved away.
Here I am living in Nashville, TN.
I moved here for a job opportunity with a local non-profit here, Visiting Orphans.
I had a desire for Africa, since my visit there in 2008, and for missions and serving others.
I also had a huge heart for the orphans.
There were times in my life, where even though I had a mother and father, I sometimes felt like an orphan.
Not because my father and mother left me or didn't love me, but because I didn't have a relationship with my Heavenly Father.
I realized we are all spiritual orphans, until we accept God's love for us and invite Him into our hearts and lives.
When I was a child, we did not regularly attend Church.
I was learning the worldly ways of living life through the people and environment around me.
Sure, I was baptized into the Catholic faith as a baby.
But, I did not make the choice, my parents made that for me.
For the most part, my life seemed fine.
Yet, we moved so many times I realized I never had the chance to form good friendships..for once I made friends, we would leave and I would have to start all over.
I was always the outsider.
This left me feeling insecure.
I didn't say too much for fear that I would be made fun of.
Many times people wouldn't listen to me- or maybe I was too quiet they didn't hear me.
I was beginning to hurt inside to see how others had such great friendships.
I longed for genuine friendships.
My parents divorced at a young age.
It hurt to see other parents who were happily married. Those friends seemed more stable and secure.
I felt this feeling of rejection by my parents and then even sometimes my friends.
I went through life experiencing hardships, heartache, loneliness, sin, insecurity and believed that was just how my life was always going to be, because of my hurtful past.
It was hard for me to understand who God, even who Jesus was...and what did they have to do with my life? They weren't 'real' in my eyes.
Although my father was around and still cared about us...we did not see him all the time.
I felt fatherless sometimes.
I began to look at my friends father's and wished I had one that was involved in my life as theirs.
Then I looked to boys, then men, for that attention.
I entered into relationships with the greatest of intentions, but did not realize how the hurt of my past would affect me in those relationships.
I was like most girls- I wanted to get married, have children and live in a cute little town and be surrounded with wonderful friends and family..
Some of them were great relationships, some for a long time.
I do not have any regrets. In fact, I learned a great deal from everyone of them.
But, I was hurt. I was used. I was cheated on. I was lied to. I was not loved for the real person I was inside. I was only loved for the person I was on the outside.
After each one, my heart was broken and needed healing..but I did not allow enough time for those wounds to heal.
To cover up that hurt, I eventually jumped into another relationship.
Fast-forward to a time in my life where my life came crashing down.
I thought I was living the dream.
Lived with a guy I loved. Had a beautiful home together. Had many friends. Had a pretty good job.
And it all ended. I was alone. I did not know how to function. I fell into a deep depression.
Eventually, I was introduced to God, to Jesus.
I accepted Him into my heart and realized I needed Him in my life more than anything and anyone else.
God sacrified His son for me, a sinner who did not deserve His love.
But his Grace and Mercy proved that I was His child and He loved me. Me!
Although I am definitely not perfect, I am changed.
Jesus has changed my heart...for myself, for others, and for Him.
There is no doubt that it has been a hard journey, even as I became a believer.
But, at least now I am filled with HOPE...understanding that everything has a purpose.
Somedays I feel so weak. So burdened.
But, then I am reminded that my strength does not come from me alone, it comes from the Lord.
For those of us who have been hurt by so many things in the past, it is hard to trust, for fear of being hurt again.
I have asked God to help me trust Him and trust others.
A mentor advised me that in ALL relationships, trust is built over time as you observe others in different situations...and their actions.
I struggled with my relationship with God because I did not know if I could trust Him...because I did not know Him.
So, how do you get to know someone? You spend time with them, talk with them.
It is truly only through talking to Him through prayer, spending time & mediating with Him, reading His word in the Bible, going to Church and listending to sermons & letting them sink into my heart, mind & actions and truly seeking Him, have I begun to build a relationship with Him and put my trust into Him.
I have found that my mind can begin to fill up with negative thoughts, worries & fear unless I choose to fill with truth. His truth.
The comforting words from God himself and my daily devotionals inspire & encourage me, giving me hope, a joy & a peace that surpasses all of my understanding.
The love God has for me, for us, is a beautiful thing.
Thank you Father for loving us the way you do.
We love You. We need You. We seek You.
Your beloved daughter,
Brenda
