Out of the wreckage comes BEAUTY...

So, this past week I've been in Tuckahoe, New York (Southampton area).
A family was traveling to NY for a horse show and so I've been nannying for this little guy...

Adorable, isn't he? His name is Sammie.
He's been so much fun!
Sweet as can be. Makes me laugh. Makes me smile. Makes me tired ;)
He's got a lot of energy! Guess I probably did too at 1 years old!
Believe it or not, he's teaching me a lot.
While it's been fun spending time with him almost all day, every day- I've found myself thinking, I could really use some adult conversation.
I guess it has made me really appreciate what Mother's go through.
Especially stay-at-home mother's (and father's).
We all need our adult time. We all need community. We may all need time away from cheerios, juice, toys & temper tantrums. I think it is only healthy.
I think we can certainly enjoy every moment we have with the children around us, we may just need to take time for ourselves.
So, my prayers go out to all of you hard-working mothers & father's and all that you do!

So, along with teaching me this...I've also learned the value of pouring into children- especially at a young age. It's what you choose to do with your child(ren) while taking the time away, that matters.
Are you putting them into the hands of someone you can TRUST.
** Please know I'm not trying to cut down on people that have nanny's or babysitters (because I am one & I love it!) **

So, here I am in New York and I've noticed that several families have nanny's for their children.
What I have observed is they are very hands-off with their children...so they are raised by their nanny.
I'm not sure why but it hasn't settled well with me. It truly breaks my heart.
Why would you have children if you're just going to send them off with someone else?
Many of the children are not polite at all...and appear to really have had no discipline.
So, while Mom & Dad enjoy their luxuries, the children are put in the hands of someone else?
Don't  you want to see your child grow up?
Don't you want to see your child take their first step?
I know that sometimes this is out of the parents control- or in my case, they have asked me to travel with them and take care of their son while they attend tennis clinics and enjoy some husband/wife time & attend a horse show.
It has been so interesting to see a Mother who values spending time with her child, even with me here.
She has specifically told me she wants to take her boy to the park or play with him on the beach.
So, while I'm still getting paid to be here- I get some downtime.
And, I've felt appreciated, with their words, gratitude, etc.

I've also observed Grandparents that have raised their own children up with nannies- so when they have grand babies, they treat them with the same mentality. Short, brief interactions. Scold them for things children at their age do. Leave the room without saying goodbye. Imitate their cute baby talk, like a baby, instead of trying to understand what they are trying to communicate. Again, very hands-off. Almost as is they are a nuisance once they start making a mess or start crying. And, I wouldn't dare change their diaper in the same room as them.
It's been so intriguing to me to see these interactions.

If I am chosen to be a nanny- I want to know that you still want to be a big part of that child's life.
That, you value me as a "part" of the family & not just "cheap labor" to watch your very own children.
These children are precious and deserve more than that.

Finally, another thing I noticed is how people treat nanny's around here (and I'm sure other places too).
But, it is almost as if I'm looked down upon.
Rarely will I get a genuine hello, usually something that is forced.
Again, cheap labor.
They can't associate themselves with someone like, ME!
I'm just the hired help.

I guess if there were a moral to this post, it would be....there are so many children out there that are starving for attention, for love, for nurturing and will one day represent the future generations- we need to pour into them, invest into them, LOVE them! As Proverbs 22:6 states, "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it."

Ok, so honestly this post wasn't intended for me to go off on that little tangent about nannying...but, I will just say I let my fingers do the talking :)

So....New York. I've never been here, so it's been exciting to see another part of the U.S. that is new to me. I always pictured New York as New York City- big city, lots of lights, lots of traffic.
But, we are in Southampton, a very different part of New York.
There are definitely very beautiful sights here!
Here are just some of them that I've captured...

And, just about everyone heard about Hurricane Irene that hit the East Coast. 

Of course I would come to New York for the first time when a hurricane decides to occur :)

Having never experienced one before, I was just slightly nervous about it.

I mean, what do you do in a hurricane? You don't go to the basement.

I guess, you evacuate? 

Well, the family I am with did not seem to have any plans to evacuate so I'm wondering, do we just hide in the upstairs bathrooms and hope for the best? 

As we watched the news it appeared that the news anchors were really going for media coverage and it seemed that what they were creating to be a dangerous hurricane, was really only a tropical storm when it hit us. From what I hear, New Jersey did get the worst of it.

Ok, I get it...I get it...that's their job. And, "better to be safe than sorry". 

I just found it a little bit humorous, that's all.

So, besides some rain, some strong winds, debris flying around, trees down & power out...we are safe.

I took a few pictures of the beach the day before and the day after...as well as some of the massive trees that were down. 

The beach the day before the storm

Just one of the massive trees that the storm took down

The beach the day after the storm

I guess one thing that I took from this "hurricane" experience was that, out of the wreckage there truly can be beauty!

I've been through so many "storms" in my life and looking back, God has always created something more beautiful through that storm. I didn't see it at the time. (Just like we only see the storm that we are experiencing while it is happening). Whether He's helped me acknowledge my talents, my gifts, my strengths or even my weaknesses, He is wrecking me so that he can build me back me up. So that I can become more like Him, more like the beautiful person He has created me to be.

So, like a storm and like the broken, sinful world we live in- we need to guard ourselves from sin, from the dangerous winds that blow us around...for if we are not careful and don't take the precautions He gives us, through His Word, we will reap the consequences, we will continue to be hurt or suffer. 

Well, that in a nutshell has been my experience in New York so far! :)


Thank you Lord for letting me SEE what you are teaching me through every small circumstance in my life.

Hey, beautiful..

 

(This was a beautiful blog post that I read this morning and it gave me so much comfort that I wanted to share it with any of you that need to read this today too. You.are.beautiful!) 

Loved
I'm not wearing any make-up. My hair is a mess. The early morning sunlight streams through the kitchen window and he looks up over his coffee to say, "Hey, beautiful." 
I will never understand this. How love can look past the immediate and see in one glance not just what's right in front it but the essence of a person. Yes, he sees me standing in the doorway but somehow he also still sees the girl standing at the altar in a white dress too.
Solomon said, "Love covers a multitude of sins."
My husband can see past the tangled hair, the sleepy eyes, the ragged shirt because of love.
And he's not the only one.
God sees us that way too. We stand in front of Him with our messy lives, our bare souls and we are certain that there isn't any beauty to behold.
Then He catches us by surprise, looks our way and says, "Hey, beautiful."
Yes, husband or not, you are loved that way too.
Loved by the God who flung the stars into space, who called your name before you ever came into being, who pursues you relentlessly and passionately.

"As women, we are experts at earning the affections of friends, lovers, children and our families. Coming face-to-face with a God who loves us unconditionally sets us off balance....It's scary to believe in God's unconditional love. What if it's not true? Then the deepest desire of every little girl and every grown woman can never be a reality.
We watch Cinderella and hope for our own version of living happily ever after. But life disappoints us, and God is our last chance to be fully, deeply loved. So we do everything possible to please Him because even though we've endured many rejections, His would be unbearable.
But God is whispering the words to our hearts we long to hear if only we can dare to believe them: 'You are loved--deeply, truly, always.' "--God's Heart for You: Embracing Your True Worth as a Woman

No matter how it may feel, you are seen through eyes of love. You are chosen, wanted, cherished right now and forever after.
No make-up. Messy hair. Messy life too.
It's all made beautiful by the One who loves you.
What's a time in your life when you felt God's love? 

- Blog by Holley Gerth

I am found in the Aftermath...

This past week I attended a Hillsong United concert here in Nashville, TN.
To say it was a good concert is a complete understatement.
It was an amazing night of refreshing, beautifully intimate worship with a room full of people in love with God.
Some accepted Christ as their Savior that night. Some crying out in desperation. Some worshiping with all they have. Some filled with joy. Some on the verge of losing hope.
He invited everyone there in that room to be there.
You could so feel His PRESENCE there in that room.
I have been listening to them for years but it was my first time seeing them LIVE.
Amazing.
Genuine hearts. Genuine lyrics. Genuine worship.
Here is just one song that really grabbed a hold of me....

  The skies lay low where You are
On the earth You rest Your feet
Yet the hands that cradle the stars
Are the hands that bled for me

In a moment of glorious surrender
You were broken for all the world to see
Lifted out of the ashes
I am found in the aftermath

Freedom found in Your scars
In Your grace my life redeemed
For You chose to take the sinner's crown
As You placed Your crown on me

In that moment of glorious surrender
Was the moment You broke the chains in me
Lifted out of the ashes
I am found in the aftermath

And in that moment You opened up the heavens
To the broken the beggar and the thief
Lifted out of the wreckage
I find hope in the aftermath

And I know that You're with me
Yes I know that You're with me here
And I know Your love will light the way

Now all I have I count it all as loss
But to know You and to carry the cross
Knowing I'm found
In the light of the aftermath 

 This song just provided so much HOPE for me & for those going through dark valleys in their life. 

Amidst the rubble, amidst the pain, amidst the ashes, amidst the wreckage....we are found in the Aftermath.

He lifts us up. He is with us. His love will light the way. 

Such sweet, comforting words.

Thank you, Jesus.

FAN vs. FOLLOWER

So, this past Sunday my Church started a new series called, Together We Will.

Every year they take a look at what their VISION as a Church is.
I love that they do that. I love that they don't desire to be the same every year.
Life changes. People change. We're always learning.
It makes complete & perfect sense that the church would want to change with us.
To help us grow to be more of what we were created to BE.

Cross Point Community Church would like to be a church that is:
 

** RADICALLY DEVOTED TO CHRIST. **
** IRREVOCABLY COMMITTED TO ONE ANOTHER. **
** RELENTLESSLY DEDICATED TO REACHING THE LOST. **

Amazing.

Doesn't that spell... J.E.S.U.S? 

Our Pastor, Pete Wilson, did such a great job speaking truth to all of us that need to hear about the CRISIS in the church today. He said, "The crisis today is not about the church's attendance. People are going to church, but they are not changing, they are not being transformed". 

Wow.
For how many of us is church just something we do to look good in the eyes of others? Something we do to make ourselves feel better? ....
Pete stated, "You can be a fan of Jesus, but not a follower".
Ouch.

Donald Driver, the BEST player there is!!

So, football season is coming up.
(I will proudly admit, even though I live in TN now...I'll always be a big FAN of the Green Bay Packers!)
Obviously, I don't play football. I just cheer on the side- or I guess at the T.V.
I'm not in the game. I'm not getting pounded like most of them. I'm not scoring touchdowns.
I'm not experiencing the blood, sweat & tears they are.
I'm just happy when we score and sad when we don't.
But truthfully, I have no idea what it's like to be IN the game (and don't really think I want to experience that).

This is what Pete's message was getting at.
There are many of us that like the "idea" of Jesus, but we're not willing to give up everything to serve Him. Or, we love Jesus, but we're not going to serve the poor in Africa.
We are fans of Jesus, but not followers.

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." -Matthew 16:24-25

How do we do this?

Pete's words, "It is going to take a new heart & new desires."

Oh, boy. 

That does not sound easy.

That is going to take hard work.

That is going to take intentionality. 

That is going to take dedication.

That is going to take humility.

That is going to take trust. 

That is going to take dying to myself & living for HIM.

He left us with this this question, "Do we trust Jesus with our lives?"

Do I? 

Our next question- so where do I start? I have so much baggage. My heart is so hardened. I've been hurt. I've been betrayed. I don't know the Bible. I'm comfortable where I am.

The answer: YOU START RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase". 

~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

This was me just a few years ago.

Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely still a work in progress. I'm learning & growing everyday.

Some days I still struggle with trusting Jesus with my life (that felt silly just typing that).

I learned, and am still learning, that I can only take ONE.STEP.AT.A.TIME.

Sharing my hurts, my struggles, my emotions that were built up inside was hard. 

Who could I trust? Who wasn't going to judge me for what I've done? Who would actually LISTEN to me?

My Pastor from my home church in WI approached me.

That began the start of a life-long Pastor/Mentor relationship.

She has continued to teach me, challenge me, support me and LOVE me for who I am.

So, as a follower of someone we know that means we DO what they DO.

Many times in my life I've been asked, "are you more of a leader or a follower?"

I'll admit, growing up, I felt more like a follower....and I felt that was a weakness. 

Over the years I have been put into Leadership roles. 

I can certainly BE a leader, but truthfully, I don't like to be the center of attention. 

I like to collaborate with people. To use their wisdom, their gifts, their talents.

I'm honored to be a person that someone looks up to, but because I am not perfect in any way, I always strive to learn and grow from everyone around me.

I tend to "feel" out my surroundings when I'm in a group of people.

This is certainly not meant in a bad way. I think it was just the way I was raised. 

I think in some way it's a way to find out if the people I'm around are "safe".

I guess my personality is not one to just jump in the middle of a crowd & start talking.

I enjoy watching & learning from others first.

It seems that life has a way of making us believe that we should all be leaders...and not followers.

But, what if it's OK to be a follower?

Pete stated, if we are true FOLLOWERS that are RADICALLY DEVOTED to Christ we must:

• Commit to BELIEVE whatever Jesus says.
• Commit to OBEY whatever we have heard.

I began reading my Bible.
Well, I tried to. There were so many books, so many chapters. What did they mean?
I'm still working on understanding the context of each book...and who all these people are.
How can I read so many other books so easily and commit to reading those, but not commit to the most important book there is?
I want to read the Bible like I've read so many other books that I can't put down.
This is the #1 "self-help" book there is out there!

Pete closed with this, "The Gospel does not call for REFLECTION, but ACTION."
We can't just read the Bible and stay living in sin, or stay living the way we are.
We have to change. We have to grow. We have to learn....
and we have to teach and share it with others!

So, are  you a fan....or a follower?

Directing my steps...

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps."  ~ Proverbs 16:9

This verse has really begun to sink in the more I learn that I am truly not in control of my life.
This move to Nashville, TN has proven to ultimately be HIS plan, not mine.
If people were to ask me if I had ever thought of moving to Nashville, TN I would have said that Tennessee never even entered my thoughts.
I did have a desire to move South for awhile, but in my head, it was going to be Georgia. I had family there and had visited there and loved it.
And, there I was, planning my way, my life.

This past December I accepted a position with a non-profit here in Tennessee as a Mission Trip Coordinator.
This was something I had dreamed about. This was my passion. This was my desire.
I felt like God knew my desires and he was orchestrating everything just the way "I" desired them.
I quickly made the decision to leave WI & move to TN.
Leaving my friends, my family, my church....everything I was comfortable with.
I started my position in January.
I had a temporary living arrangement, that looking back, I should have thought through a lot more.
A relationship that had formed had dissolved.
The questions swirled in my head!
Why is this happening?
I did not know a lot of people.
I still had not found a Church.
I needed to find a place to live.
I was new to Nashville so I was overwhelmed with where to even begin looking.
I was so hesitant to try Craigslist. But, I did.
I found two great potential roommates.
I had to choose one which was hard because they both seemed great!
I decided to go with the roommate with the better location for me.
Turns out we had some mutual connections and she also attended Cross Point Community Church.
The first night I attended, I knew it was where I belonged.
It is now a place I love and call my new Church home.

I say all of this because while I didn't choose the one roommate, we remained friends...and still do.
It definitely seems as though God orchestrated that friendship!
We recently met up and went for a nice long walk together & had a great conversation.
This was actually what prompted me to blog.
Simply because, while we don't always see the reason for our current situations, God does.
He sees the big picture!


So, for the next few months, things were rocky, but they were getting better..
I was beginning to adjust more & more to my new job.
I was beginning to settle in my new "home"..in my new city.
I was beginning to build great friendships.
I was beginning to get involved in my Church.
I was beginning to feel myself again.

Then, one of my sweet cats began to get really sick.
I found a vet close to work and it has turned out to be a wonderful place, with great staff!
They really had compassion for my cat which is so important.
I've learned that those with pets completely understand & know the importance of this.
Over the past several months I begun to get to know the staff- so much that after sharing some of my circumstance, one offered to pray for me.
It seemed again that God had orchestrated this.

Soon, things fell apart with my job and I really began questioning everything. Including God.
What am I going to do?
Why is this all happening to me- all at once? 
I felt like I was losing hope.
Was this entire move a mistake?

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps."  ~ Proverbs 16:9

This verse came to me again and I began to really seek comfort and peace in it.
The Lord... is directing my steps.

I was recently driving back from Georgia and while I've seen the "Welcome to Tennessee" sign several times..

...it didn't hit me until recently that it is known as "The Volunteer State".
For those that know me, you know that for a long time I have just loved to get involved by volunteering.
It brings me joy to help others in need and to take the focus off of me & my circumstances.
At this moment, it was just another confirmation that God was directing my steps and I should stay in Tennessee!

I'm just so encouraged at how often the moments that seem difficult at the time, are made fruitful with time, prayer, trust and obedience. I know deep down that God only wants the best for me, but when I'm in the moment, in that cloud of my circumstances, it's so hard to see that. I'm thankful for these times, for it draws me closer to my Creator, which He desires from us all along. 

"When God guides us, He works in ways we can't predict. He can use even our inconveniences to bring honor to His name. When we face a seeming nuisance in our day, perhaps we should look not just for what we think we want but also for what God has for us that day." - Dave Branon


Right now, I'm just resting in Him.
Seeking His direction for my life.
I have been looking into some full and part-time nanny opportunities.
I still have a lingering desire in my heart to be involved in Missions or non-profits, in some way.
I don't know what they will look like, but I have a God that does.
I've heard this saying, "In every circumstance, you can either be BITTER or BETTER".
I choose, BETTER!

For anyone that is reading this, I would just ask for your continued prayer during this time.
Prayer for direction, for discernment, clarity and that God will use this time to draw me closer to Him.

Much love!

His PRESENCE vs. His PRESENTS

So, many of us have heard of the saying, "Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery and Today is a gift, that's why it's called the PRESENT."

See, I'm a visual learner and that applies to learning Scripture for me too. For me, I have to be able to relate it to my life, in order for it to make sense. Well, this quote has always encouraged me because it has taught me to live in the MOMENT, to live for TODAY and not to WORRY about the future. Matthew 6:34 also speaks to us about worry: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Isn't that the truth? Easier said than done sometimes. I'm a work in progress, that's for sure.

Well, I was reminded about this again the other day after a great sermon I heard at my Church. You can listen to the sermon here. The Title of the sermon was "Presence vs. Presents".  The main "take home" point of the message was this:

"God is more concerned with who we are BECOMING than where we are GOING."

I started thinking about how these are both very interestingly enough, related.

The first quote talks about TODAY being a GIFT and well, what do we do with a gifts/presents? We open them with anticipation. We treasure them. We enjoy them in that moment. We're thankful to whomever gave them to us. We take our time opening them, and don't run off and do something else right away. (Ok, so maybe when we were kids we would open it, say "Oooh, cool!" and then throw it aside and open up the next one or go play with our friends, forgetting to say thank you!) Forgive me, but I think there is a neat God moment here. Most of us are probably also familiar with the phrase, "stop & smell the roses". I think of God saying this to us, with each new day.. "Please, STOP. Enjoy what I'm giving you, TODAY. Life. Friends. Family. Beautiful skies. Love. Even the butterfly that just landed on your hand. Don't worry about what tomorrow brings or what the future holds. Just enjoy today, as a gift from Me. I have so much to give you, to show you, to teach you." And, we know that- tomorrow is not promised to us.

The second quote is basically saying, God is not concerned with what is going to happen tomorrow, so why should we? He is more concerned with what we are learning today, in the process. Because, it is in the process that we are becoming more Christ-like, more like Him...and, isn't it true, we are created in HIS image?! Hmm. I think He's also saying, he's not so much concerned with how successful we are...He's more concerned with WHO we are becoming as we go through life. Again, if we were created in His image, and he knew who we were to become before our existence...doesn't it make sense that he would be more concerned if we were becoming who He created us to be??

Ok...here's an example. Let's say you are an artist (or not one, like me) and you have a picture in mind that you would like to draw. But, as you begin drawing you suddenly realize it's not looking at all like what you pictured in your mind. You begin to get frustrated or disappointed because it's not at all what you wanted to CREATE! Oh boy, what are others going to think about this? Do you see the connection here? Scripture refers to humans (you & me) as the clay and Jesus is the Potter. He is FORMING us into His image. Or, that we are His masterpiece. Here is a definition of masterpiece:

mas·ter·piece/ˈmastərˌpēs/Noun

1. A work of outstanding artistry, skill, or workmanship.

2. An artist's or craftsman's best piece of work.

God desires us to become His masterpiece, His perfect creation, His children....in His timing. So, even if it takes some of us longer to get there, this just means that He has more perfecting, more crafting to do in us and through us. The catch...we have to LET Him.

So, this sermon convicted and challenged me, especially with where I'm at in my life. It challenged us to ask ourselves, "Are we more concerned with God's PRESENTS (our jobs, our success, our accomplishments, our relationships, our cars, our electronics, our homes or our money) than we are with God's PRESENCE (His love for us through Scripture, through Prayer, through Devotion)?" Wow.

While some of the "presents" aren't necessarily bad things, they can take the place of spending time intimately with Him, building and growing a relationship with Him, growing dependent on Him and enjoying the joy, peace and love He has to offer us. God does certainly BLESS His people with "presents" or gifts/talents/abilities...it's what we DO with those presents that matter. Do we worship these things more than we worship the God who provided them to us, the God who created us?

So, the question we should ask ourselves is this, do we VALUE life with God over His blessings? I personally loved this phrase from the sermon:

"God is more interested in my character than my calendar" 

Amen.

Do we focus on the DESTINATION or are we more concerned with who we are BECOMING on the journey?

In the end, it's simple...

God DESIRES our HEARTS...our PRESENCE!

A sweet whisper...

I follow this blog, Heart to Heart with Holley, and am always inspired by her posts.

This one was especially timely for me!

I wanted to share it with any of you that are reading this and need to hear these words too.

Love you!

Just a whisper for you as you start the week...

I'm thinking of you, wherever you are, starting the week and wondering what it will hold. 

And I just want to whisper that you're loved by the One who will hold you no matter what comes.

Yes, He sees you, knows you, understands every detail.

He delights in who you are, in what you do--even the things you think no one notices.

Your life has a purpose.

You matter so much.
You are on your way to good things ahead.

And today is the next step. 

So take a deep breath and move ahead, my friend.
I'm so grateful to walk with you too.