So, lately I've been feeling very attacked by Satan's quiet but powerful schemes to deceive me with his Lies vs. God's truth.
Absurd things like,
"You're never going to get married."
"You're never going to look like that."
"As much as you want to believe they will, people will never see you for who you really are inside."
"Who would want to be with you when you don't even have a stable job?"
"He is interested in someone else."
"You're too old."
"You failed in ministry once, why try it again?"
I know so strongly in my heart, they are lies, but I'm also definitely learning that is exactly how Satan works- he knows where we are weak, where we are vulnerable & he goes straight for the heart.
I've been finding myself surrounded by many people that are younger than me lately, and while I do love to think of myself as someone that can share my life experiences with them- it's also very hard not to look around sometimes and think, I'm not where they are at anymore, I'm not looking for what they are looking for anymore, I don't enjoy doing the same things anymore...it can be difficult to relate to them sometimes. It is not that I think I'm better, because I'm certainly not...just at a different point in life. I've learned not to jump from relationship to relationship and to let myself heal from one to the other and to try & learn from each one, instead of becoming bitter and carrying that into the next relationship..
Lord-willing, I'm looking for a long-term relationship, not just dating to date, someone that is stable, someone that won't bolt at the first hiccup in the relationship, someone that loves me for who I am & who God created me to be, not who they would like me to be, and most importantly, someone that loves and fears the Lord above all else and has the desire to seek, follow & serve the Lord together. I've prayed that this desire would not consume me though and take me away from this tender relationship that is growing between me & God. For too long, I've let it consume my thoughts. I've come to the conclusion it's because I fear being alone forever and never being able to have that wedding that I've always dreamed of, have those children I've always dreamed of having, buying that house with my future husband or getting that dog together. I want those things so badly, but I'm learning more and more everyday, that God wants me first.
In those moments of being single, I have learned so much about myself, my desires and my passions. It seems to make sense that is what God would want so we knew if that One person that we met, had similar passions and desires.
Recently our Young Adult Community Group has been passing around a few articles on "Singleness". I particularly enjoyed reading this one from the Relevant magazine: Making the most of being single. It spoke to me on so many levels. A few particular points hit home for me -
"You’re not making the most of being single if all you can think about is finding a partner, and asking God why you don't have one yet." Ouch.
"Making the most of being single means being on your own. It’s just you and God. Being single is about discovering who you are, setting personal boundaries, knowing your likes and dislikes, your passions and the desires of your heart."
"It’s not your fault you want someone so badly. It’s natural. It’s how our hearts are wired."
"But just like anything else, the enemy will take what is meant for good and use it to distract you from where God wants you to be."
"that’s right where the enemy wants you: so distracted with a desperate need for a relationship, you cannot live the life God has called you to while you’re single."
"Making the most of being single is taking the opportunity to become completely content in your relationship with Christ."
"Making the most of being single is being 100 percent OK with being single."
I intend on keeping this article on hand to refer back to when I start getting discouraged or losing hope in the area of relationships. I hope this article can encourage some of you single ladies & men, like it did me. I'm learning these things: God has a plan. His timing is different than ours. God doesn't make mistakes. YOU are right where you need to be to do the work God wants to do in & through you. Amen to that.
Absurd things like,
"You're never going to get married."
"You're never going to look like that."
"As much as you want to believe they will, people will never see you for who you really are inside."
"Who would want to be with you when you don't even have a stable job?"
"He is interested in someone else."
"You're too old."
"You failed in ministry once, why try it again?"
I know so strongly in my heart, they are lies, but I'm also definitely learning that is exactly how Satan works- he knows where we are weak, where we are vulnerable & he goes straight for the heart.
I've been finding myself surrounded by many people that are younger than me lately, and while I do love to think of myself as someone that can share my life experiences with them- it's also very hard not to look around sometimes and think, I'm not where they are at anymore, I'm not looking for what they are looking for anymore, I don't enjoy doing the same things anymore...it can be difficult to relate to them sometimes. It is not that I think I'm better, because I'm certainly not...just at a different point in life. I've learned not to jump from relationship to relationship and to let myself heal from one to the other and to try & learn from each one, instead of becoming bitter and carrying that into the next relationship..
Lord-willing, I'm looking for a long-term relationship, not just dating to date, someone that is stable, someone that won't bolt at the first hiccup in the relationship, someone that loves me for who I am & who God created me to be, not who they would like me to be, and most importantly, someone that loves and fears the Lord above all else and has the desire to seek, follow & serve the Lord together. I've prayed that this desire would not consume me though and take me away from this tender relationship that is growing between me & God. For too long, I've let it consume my thoughts. I've come to the conclusion it's because I fear being alone forever and never being able to have that wedding that I've always dreamed of, have those children I've always dreamed of having, buying that house with my future husband or getting that dog together. I want those things so badly, but I'm learning more and more everyday, that God wants me first.
In those moments of being single, I have learned so much about myself, my desires and my passions. It seems to make sense that is what God would want so we knew if that One person that we met, had similar passions and desires.
Recently our Young Adult Community Group has been passing around a few articles on "Singleness". I particularly enjoyed reading this one from the Relevant magazine: Making the most of being single. It spoke to me on so many levels. A few particular points hit home for me -
"You’re not making the most of being single if all you can think about is finding a partner, and asking God why you don't have one yet." Ouch.
"Making the most of being single means being on your own. It’s just you and God. Being single is about discovering who you are, setting personal boundaries, knowing your likes and dislikes, your passions and the desires of your heart."
"It’s not your fault you want someone so badly. It’s natural. It’s how our hearts are wired."
"But just like anything else, the enemy will take what is meant for good and use it to distract you from where God wants you to be."
"that’s right where the enemy wants you: so distracted with a desperate need for a relationship, you cannot live the life God has called you to while you’re single."
"Making the most of being single is taking the opportunity to become completely content in your relationship with Christ."
"Making the most of being single is being 100 percent OK with being single."
I intend on keeping this article on hand to refer back to when I start getting discouraged or losing hope in the area of relationships. I hope this article can encourage some of you single ladies & men, like it did me. I'm learning these things: God has a plan. His timing is different than ours. God doesn't make mistakes. YOU are right where you need to be to do the work God wants to do in & through you. Amen to that.
"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."
- 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
Brenda, YOU are an amazing woman and I know that God has an extraordinary man out there for you ;)
ReplyDeleteOur preacher was talking about singleness and marriages the other day, talking about you can't have a stable marriage if it's not built on the frame work of God. But then he asked who’s single? and then, who doesn't want to be single and of course half of the congregation raised their hands. He said something that I wish I would have done in my very short dating life... He said next time you are on a date and if you want to know if it’s worth pursuing ask them plain as day the first time that you meet: "Do you love Jesus?" and depending on how they answer YOU will know if its worth your time or not! :)
Thank you so much, Sunni! You are so sweet! That's so true about what your Pastor said. I don't want to be with anyone that does not love Jesus. I hope you are doing well. Miss ya!
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